As a young child, grappling with the complexities of adult thinking was a daunting task. The concept of addiction was beyond my comprehension, and my innocent mind firmly believed that nothing could ever lead a parent to abandon their children.
I can still recall those moments, sitting on the edge of my bed, gazing out the window, trying to decipher the unfathomable. How could someone choose a substance over their own flesh and blood? In my world of innocence, love was a straightforward, unwavering force. If you loved someone, you were there for them, no matter what.
As I attempted to make sense of the shattered pieces of my reality, a haunting question persisted: Did their actions signify a lack of love for us? The weight of this thought was unbearable, a heavy burden on my young heart. Despite everything, I knew I still loved them. But did they no longer love us? This was a distressing and bewildering concept that my young mind grappled with.
In those moments, I felt a mixture of sadness, anger, and a longing for things to be different. I wished for the simplicity of the love I believed in, which didn't abandon or cause pain. It was a lesson I was too young to grasp fully, a complex and heartbreaking part of growing up. But as I grew older, I began to understand the complexities of addiction and the impact it had on our family. I learned to forgive, not for their sake, but for my peace of mind.
Out of The Shadows ©️ 2025 Tony Alexander - I'm trying to free myself from my past
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